Moorestown, Gift-Rapped

'Tis the Season for a look back at 2012, Mo'town style!

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through Moorestown,
Lack of parking near Main Street was getting us down.
The lot was fenced off all around old town hall,
And EDAC was celebrating out at the mall.

Mo’towners were nestled all snug in their beds,
whilst visions of fine dining danced in their heads.
Maybe Emeril or Paula, well Vetri for sure!
Perhaps Morimoto, with a crab soup du jour.

On the library roof there arose such a clatter,
Perhaps ‘twas my critics? Ah well, they don’t matter!
Perhaps ‘twas !
He’s cast all of Moorestown, 20,000 or so.

But at the library, things weren’t going so well,
Patrons complained, “Holy Cow! What’s that smell?”
Away to the window to let in the breeze,
“How sad,” we exclaimed, “they’ve cut down all the trees!”

When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
Sambe Construction! They are finally here!
Almost 20 years later, the project’s begun,
Eleven more million and they might get it done.

Forget our dear Eagles, their season was lame,
We have a new town council, I’ll call them by name:
Now Garwood! Newcomer! Now Napolitano!
Bye Button! Ciao, Testa! Thank you, Mr. Gallo!
Here’s to alcohol and to turf field con-struc-tion,
Now spend without using the Open Space Fund.

As dry leaves ‘fore Hurricane Sandy fly away,
We ask public works “When is leaf pickup day?”
Decorations on Main Street don’t make me feel chipper,
Everyone’s asking, “What happened to Nipper?”

Let’s bring back those doggies, they’re easy to train,
They’ll never bark, neighbors cannot complain.
So off now to Wawa to celebrate large,
Let’s drown in a “cuppa” as big as a barge!

The autumn election caused quite a to-do,
With recounts and write-ins, who voted for who?
Some say this election was dumb versus dumber,
Congratulations to Greg, town council’s newcomer.

To the Mall, how it twinkles! To Macy’s, how merry!
Bath and Body Works soap comes in mango and cherry.
Children drawn to GameStop as light draws a moth,
And there’s always Hot Topic if you want to go Goth.

If you want to complete your holiday cause,
Over near Macy’s is the mall Santa Claus.
Chubby and cheerful, those are things that he’s got,
Is he really that way or did he stop off at Ott’s?

It’s a tough job, for sure, but he answered the call,
Soon old St. Nick can imbibe at the mall.
Booze in Moorestown? Who would ever have guessed?
When it came to libations, most of us voted yes!

My job’s writing words, thanks for reading my work,
I try to opine, not to act like a jerk.
Thank you fire department, and thank you police,
Thanks to my readers, I wish you all joy and peace!

If you boil it down and get to the reason,
We need to breathe deeply and enjoy this season.
As we look to our future, get the shades cause it’s bright!
A joyous season to all and to all a good night!

Mark Morgan December 26, 2012 at 06:25 AM
MM, Merry Christmas to you and your Mason Men, Congrats on another funny column, and Thanks for the shout out! Auditioning 20,000 was really tough! Happy New Year! MM


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