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A Town Council Kind of Christmas

"The Twelve Days of Christmas," a la Mo'town

After getting dinner started last Monday, I sat down to check my email, although I’m not sure why. The Viagra come-ons have disappeared, but every other company in the universe has access to my email and is bombarding me with instant trash. Lo and behold, there was one keeper: a reminder of a “” at 6 p.m. to discuss the athletic field situation. I did a double take because, after all, EVERY Town Council meeting is special. I also did a double take because I enjoy doing double takes. 

After watching the wishes of 1,400 citizens by town council like so much dryer lint earlier this year, I felt a moral obligation to go and let my voice be heard or at least let my grunts of disapproval be heard. So, over a nice meal with my very significant other, I mentioned the meeting and opined that I really should go. Now it was Taylor’s turn for a double take.

“Why would you put yourself through that particular agony?” he said, twirling his spaghetti. “It’s not like they’re going to listen to you anyway.”

He was right. I was better served by staying home with my vagabond husband than by sitting through another pointless town council meeting that only leads to plastic fields if you’re part of the “in-crowd,” or high blood pressure if you’re a lowly citizen and not part of the acronym gangs that seem to be running this town.

Monday night’s meeting went on without me. I’m glad I stayed home because it was just more of the same. Improvements to three township athletic fields are going out to bid and the Open Space Trust Fund will be pillaged from now on to finance artificial turf, scoreboards, lights, parking lots and anything town council deems necessary so Mo’town can proudly trumpet NOT its superior schools, but its superior plastic playing fields. And to respond to the new township manager’s statement that playing fields are “a very important amenity” for young families moving to the area, I say SHOW ME THE FAMILIES! Introduce me to a family that moved here for the playing fields.

I’ve had enough agita to last a lifetime, so I will not be wasting any more of my precious time at town council meetings. THEY ARE NOT LISTENING. Instead, in the spirit of the holiday, I’ve written a song parody about this, the most fabulously deaf town council in Mo’town history. Consider it my ‘lil holiday gift just for you.
 

 

The Twelve Council Meetings (to the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas")

At the first council meeting, town council gave to me

A parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the second of the meetings, town council gave to me

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the third council meeting, town council gave to me

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the fourth council meeting, town council gave to me

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the fifth council meeting, the big boys gave to me

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!!!!

Four liquor permits

Three scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the sixth council meeting, town council gave to me

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!!!!!

Four liquor permits

Three scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the next council meeting, town council gave to me

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the eighth council meeting, I fell asleep (and dreamt of)

Eight library revamps

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the ninth council meeting, town council gave to me

Nine town hall blueprints

Eight library revamps

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the tenth council meeting, town council gave to me

Ten spinning answers

Nine town hall blueprints

Eight library revamps

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the eleventh council meeting, town council gave to me

Eleven kids on skateboards

Ten spinning answers

Nine town hall blueprints

Eight library revamps

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee

 

At the twelfth council meeting, town council gave to me

Twelve teardown mansions

Eleven kids on skateboards

Ten spinning answers

Nine town hall blueprints

Eight library revamps

Seven more drugstores

Six zoning nightmares

FIVE PLASTIC FIELDS!

Four liquor permits

Three new scoreboards

Two sports-crazed dads

And a parking lot for my Humvee!!!!!

Lauren Burgoon December 21, 2011 at 02:01 PM
Mtown Talker, Any Patch reader is welcome to both blog for us, giving you a regular platform for your views, or submit letters to the editor. Just contact Rob (rob.scott@patch.com) for details.
Great Town December 21, 2011 at 02:13 PM
I do recall John Button writing an op-Ed last week. Some didn't know if that was a opening to a reelection campaign piece, op-Ed, or a Mayor corner in review. The issue is, if he or one/two of the three aren't running again, then they should be upfront, at least with their party and friends that "they" are seeking reelection. If they feel they should choose the replacements on the ticket then perhaps they should begin "that process" or whatever. It sounds "anti" may be a dem in disguise, fine I guess this stage is a game. That piece by button regardless how anyone feels about it, seemed to question if there was more behind just a review, or was it political "talking points"?
Mtown Talker December 21, 2011 at 02:36 PM
How do I get the same arrangement as this writer who seems to have a weekly column? Its not clear to me whether she is writing as a blogger or as member of Patch staff? What is Patch policy on this?
Anti-HomeBrew December 21, 2011 at 03:18 PM
hey great town I am a dem and I am enjoying watching the clown from lenola ruin his party and give us back control of council keep up the good work! i hope you gop voters know you are voting a couple of guys that aren;t even on the ticket
Lauren Burgoon December 21, 2011 at 06:56 PM
In terms of columns, it's a paid freelance position and unfortunately, we don't have any openings at Moorestown Patch. But send Rob an email if you're interested if future spots are available. Or, like I said, you're always free to start a blog that's hosted on Patch and write as much or as little as you want.
M.Verado December 21, 2011 at 07:31 PM
Hey Anti, You haven't a clue as to what is going on inside the republican party, so don't spout off-the-wall comments in a misguided attempt to put the dems back at the helm. If you would like to debate the dems accomplishments during their tenure, I would be happy to accomodate you. The facts would knock your socks off. By the way, fyi, Homebrew is no one in MRMC. Pay attention and learn.
Boozer official December 21, 2011 at 07:43 PM
The question is "anti " sounds like a former dem councilman? If so, sounds like he would be supporting the GOP in a general election if GBT and perhaps the dems have no clear formidable candidate? Perhaps someone needs to throw that "riddle " Around too.
Great Town December 21, 2011 at 08:04 PM
In response, I do recall councilman chiacchios stating that the open space should have been on the ballot.
Mtown Talker December 21, 2011 at 08:37 PM
Patch pays for these opinion pieces and supports attacks on fellow citizens? Patch may want to revisit there integrity or give others the same access like that old tv show point and counter point Good day
Anti-HomeBrew December 21, 2011 at 08:38 PM
ah whats wrong verado did i hurt your feelings or is today a bad day in the building business. you are a builder right
Anti-HomeBrew December 21, 2011 at 08:49 PM
oh and btw G oops i mean verado we all know homebrew isn't the brightest bulb so maybe a family member does his computer work
M.Verado December 21, 2011 at 10:38 PM
Anti HB, Close, but no cigar. Hint, several can be one, who can be several. I take your empty response to mean you don't want to debate over the history of the D's and R's.
Great Town December 21, 2011 at 11:15 PM
In response, maybe the parties should Have their own huddles and sing their praises towards candidates, gee willigers!
Lauren Burgoon December 21, 2011 at 11:52 PM
Patch pays Marsia to be an opinion columnist and give her opinions on things happening around Moorestown. If anyone wants to respond, they have three outlets: in the comment section, in a letter to the editor (email it to rob.scott@patch.com) or by starting a blog here to write their own opinions about things happening around Moorestown. Again, contact Rob for details. That's three ways to provide a counterpoint. There are plenty of ways for Moorestown Patch readers to have their opinions heard.
Anti-HomeBrew December 22, 2011 at 11:47 AM
lets leave the debate to the candidates but let me tell you somethin G we are going to have so much fun publishing the rantings of u and HB with your real identities come election time thank you for the ammo
Julie December 22, 2011 at 02:12 PM
I find Marcie's pieces to be offensive and polarizing. If that is the goal in paying for them, then it should make that more clear. Personally, I think the Patch has a greater obligation to its readers than to pay for this when as you mentioned, there are other options for people to express themselves.
Terry December 22, 2011 at 02:48 PM
It is town council that has been polarizing.
JustWondering December 22, 2011 at 02:54 PM
@Julie - many of us find Marsia's writing and opinions to be clever, incisive, and entertaining. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read her work! To the Patch - thanks for providing us with the diversity of perspectives that an inquisitive audience desires. Keep up the good work!!!
M.Verado December 22, 2011 at 03:51 PM
Anti-HB, Ok, I get it, you don't want to debate the facts. Too bad, I thought you were gutsy. I have no problem with my identy, MT, how about you?
Black and Gold December 22, 2011 at 04:49 PM
MARSIA - First, I had no idea you were so perfect that you have never misspelled a name or had a typo. Congrats on that! Second, attending Council meetings so that you can find something to complain and write about is not getting involved. Maybe you should run for Council. It would be great to have someone who is so perfect and has all the answers lead this town. I can see the lawn signs now. You want perfection? VOTE FOR MARSIA MASON! I'm sure the leader of the MRMC would love to have you.
Anti-Home Brew December 22, 2011 at 05:03 PM
MT? ouch no need to sling that kinda mud G i didnt call you any names like that so why would u be so mean do you really want to sling mud not nice
Great Town December 22, 2011 at 05:49 PM
MV according to blog reports.. "Anti" claims he's a dem, and perhaps a former councilman . He has ranted as that. Now could he be "bluffing" ? As for MT, there hasn't been any evidence as so but a guess "black and gold"? Although, it is supposedly seen that "anti" / clown. Are in agreement
Referee gop December 23, 2011 at 12:04 AM
What should occur is if the three are running again, as a suggestion, they should gather with those in the "party" , air out the issues, plan, and strategize. If as mentioned, that a one or two may not run then that needs to be addressed. The one or two that are running for reelection may want to choose a person or persons to run with them and bring them forward. Enough of these "reindeer games". Any other suggestions?
Rollie. A. Nosam December 23, 2011 at 01:21 PM
I've enjoyed reading the comments on this particular article for the week. Thank you Mrs. Mason for starting a fire. The truth is: some people decided to railroad through a project they wanted, regardless of any opposition, and they weren't prepared to defend themselves. Which is the way politics works. So they win in the short-term, and (apparently) that's all that matters. Obviously this use of funds for artificial turf for a privileged few Moorestown children is a controversial matter, and Mrs. Mason has started a firestorm with her column. She is a talented writer (which is why she holds this job instead of somebody else - a great example is the poorly-written, badly-worded and grammatically incorrect responses above that don't like what she wrote, which is why THEY don't have a job at the Moorestown Patch: they aren't qualified, technically or artistically), she makes her points in a clever and meaningful way, and she clearly knows satire. Which means she could care less what her detractors opinions are. The people on the Council started this debacle, not Mrs. Mason.
Black and Gold December 23, 2011 at 03:50 PM
I agree that Mrs. Mason is a talented writer but, in my opinion, she is abusing this platform. I have said this before, she in entitled to her opinion about any topic in town. What I don't think is appropriate is when she blatantly ridicules people in her . If someone does that on the blog, their comment is deleted, yet when Marsia does it, it is considered "freedom of speech or creative journalism or satire". That is the point. Regarding the OSRFHP trust fund, I would hardly say that 6,000 kids is a few priviledged children. That is alot more than the 1,400 that Marsia says were ignored by Town Council. Is it a coincidence that Rollie's last name is Mason spelled backwards?
Black and Gold December 23, 2011 at 03:52 PM
Caught a typo. It should read "in her pieces". I'm sure someone would have pointed this out. My apologies.
Really. A. Mason December 23, 2011 at 04:51 PM
Look at Rollies old posts too. You didn't really think Patch was a legitimate news source did you? More like HuffPost/AOL. AOL Coincidence perhaps?
HomeBrew December 23, 2011 at 05:15 PM
Season's Greetings from the HomeBrew Crew. Check out your card above. http://moorestown.patch.com/articles/a-town-council-kind-of-christmas-by-marsia-mason#photo-8777219 For moving pictures, see "The Sky is Falling" http://homebrewsjavajive.blogspot.com/2011/12/sky-is-falling.html and "Rage Coach" http://homebrewsjavajive.blogspot.com/2011/12/rage-coach.html
figgy pudding December 23, 2011 at 06:22 PM
Ms. Brew, are you aware that Moorestown has an artificial turf field at Wesley Bishop Park and that it is widely used by children and adults from the recreation department to the high school and college kids? I even understand personal trainers provide training on it. Are you against that field or just new fields that will benefit thousands of children and parents?
Root Beer Float December 24, 2011 at 06:39 PM
Yeah, the high school should get the second turf field. I move that this be a subject at the top of the agenda at the next BOE meeting. Instead of two turfs at Wesley bishop toss the other one at masters field. Goingto the mall to enjoy th root beer floats and burgers, before the Christmas family big eats!

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