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Somethings's A Fowl in Moorestown

A solution to not only the Canada goose problem, but our sinking ratables as well.

I have often heard seagulls referred to as flying rats. They are scavengers that serve no purpose, except to snatch our sandwiches on the beach or, inexplicably, roam the ShopRite parking lot in search of a good number at the deli counter.

Yesterday, after almost driving into a Canada goose while mistaking it for a Smart Car, I sat in my car on Haines Drive, waiting for my heart to slow down. The goose did not have a similar reaction. It looked vacantly at my car then trundled toward a gaggle of its brethren loitering and honking near the cement Teddy Bear sculpture.

Branta Canadensis maxima is the Latin name for public enemy No. 1, the Canada goose; that waddling excrement factory that serves no other purpose than to besmirch our parks and ball fields. In Pennsylvania, there is a full-time population of more than 230,000 goose residents producing about 11,500 pounds of droppings EVERY DAY. Take a stroll onto Memorial Field or the idyllic Strawbridge Lake area and try to make it back to your car without an accumulation of goose poop on the bottom of your shoes.

Although I haven’t seen them lately, I know that at one time there were border collies patrolling Strawbridge Lake. A local resident told me that the border collies left Mo’town to work with Charlie Sheen, herding him away from danger and/or prostitutes. It doesn’t seem to be working, Lassie.

What are other towns doing to get rid of those pesky waddlers?  Downingtown, PA, tried using inflatable crocodiles in their lake. It didn’t work, although Action News was right there with cameras and a theme song entitled “The Crocodile Invasion…What YOU Need to Know.” Other towns have tried fireworks, spraying corn oil on goose eggs, rap music, a romantic dinner and dog decoys, to no avail. Oh, and the less-inviting vegetation that was planted by Strawbridge Lake to deter the geese?  Not working, people! Those fat poop-producers are here to stay, and tough-talking ex-Philadelphia mayor Frank Rizzo might in some small way have contributed to their burgeoning population. In the 1970s, Mayor Rizzo set aside money to feed the goose gang along the Schuylkill River. He didn’t like wise guys but loved wise geese. Geese are so intelligent that some of them have even written best sellers and served on town council!

The "live-and-let-live" faction does not want to see any involvement from the Wildlife Service, whose method of downsizing is to addle the goose eggs and gas some of the nesting geese. We here at Mason Labs have a better idea.

Ever since last year’s fatal Duck Boat accident on the Delaware River, the city has been going back and forth on the future of “Ride the Ducks” in Philadelphia. For a while there was talk of moving the boats to the Schuylkill River where, presumably, they’d meet up with Mayor Rizzo’s geese, lay a few eggs, honk a lot and anger the Boat House Rowers. A route was proposed then shot down (not by hunters) by citizens who protested that the stately Schuylkill was the wrong spot for a bunch of quacking tourists.

Despite the fact that the Ride the Ducks president, Chris Herschend, said his company had operated more than 40,000 trips in Philadelphia without incident BEFORE the fatal accident,  I don’t know why anyone would ride those silly amphibious contraptions. I can just see myself now, trying to convince a loved one to ride the Ducks.

 “Come on, sweetheart! Let’s take a quick jaunt through the narrow streets of Philly where everyone will be gawking at us and muttering derogatory expressions under their breath. After we grow weary of that, we’ll glide into the Delaware River, smack dab into the middle of a shipping lane filled with tug boats, barges and dead bodies. There will be plenty of life vests to play with onboard, since the crew will not demonstrate physically how to put them on. Instead, they will do a delightful mime presentation, using graphic hand signals picked up from old  swabbies. If the various  ship captains are  not busy having cell phone conversations or texting, we might make it back to shore in one piece. Perhaps two.”

I have several thoughts on these two fowl problems. Moorestown needs more revenue. Ratables are down, businesses are not thronging to our fair village. One idea is to move Ride the Ducks to Strawbridge Lake. There, we could demonstrate to the tourists how we throw away our money on lake dredging as we glide amongst the lily pads and alleged "less inviting" foliage. The passengers will be encouraged to solve the mystery of the red "no skating" flag that flies year round, even in August. After an exciting detour through the water filtration plant, the tour would continue to the Town Hall/Library parking lot to marvel at how such an affluent town cannot seem to move forward on a new complex. The librarians will happily pose for pictures once it has been determined that there are no outstanding fines.

But wait! There’s more! Let’s turn our overabundance of geese into part of the Ride the Ducks experience!  As we glide along Haines Drive, the tourists will have all kinds of close encounters with the geese. Children will have a chance to run from the vehicle to the tot lot. Those that make it back with clean shoes will get a prize (a hazmat suit). Another fun  activity would be "free pillow stuffing." The tourists would be motored to  a nesting area, where they would gather as many feathers as they wanted, to make a souvenir of their fabulous trip to Moorestown.

So you see, I’ve managed to kill two birds with one stone…figuratively speaking. If you’d like in on the ground floor of this incredible plan, please send cash in any denomination to me, care of Patch. I promise not to goose you.

Sharon April 26, 2011 at 12:29 AM
Ohmygod................
ASteinberg April 26, 2011 at 12:40 AM
Ohmygeese.....
Marsia Mason April 26, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Yes, I am an animal lover, with the exception of silverfish and a one-eyed opossum that wanders into my yard every night. I'm sorry that you had to witness animal cruelty, and I applaud your defense of geese.
Marsia Mason April 26, 2011 at 12:13 PM
"Myopic Goose Poop Phobes!" Thank you for a wonderful new nickname! This myopic goose poop phobe wonders about your particular obsession, er, phobia of human waste. Since you are a 'thinking person,' I'll make a deal with you. I'll get some old boots when you get a sense of humor.
Patty A April 26, 2011 at 01:38 PM
It would be really nice if all the people berating geese (based mostly on mindless propaganda, misinformation or phobia) actually took a little time to KNOW them. Canada geese mate for life. They are among the most incredibly loyal, devoted and protective animals on earth (one reason for their high survival rates). Ganders especially, spend most of their lives looking out for and protecting their mates and offspring. Geese are exemplary and totally devoted parents to their young. Goslings stay with the parents for a full year, after which the parents renew their romantic bond and gently push the young ones "out of the nest" (much like human parents). Following nesting and molting (in the late summer and early fall), the geese reunite as families again and migrate together to wintering locations. Canada geese are gregarious, very social and peaceful birds whose sense of wariness and protection often serve as "security" and early warning systems of danger to other birds, particularly mallards. The geese are also social with humans and will often form attachments to people who are kind to them, including children. Indeed, one could go on and on about the amazing intelligence of Canada geese, their resiliance, adaptability and physical toughness. These are birds who can fly thousands of miles in a couple of days. Instead of whining and berating these magnificant creatures, it would serve humans better to actually observe and LEARN about them.
ASteinberg April 26, 2011 at 05:57 PM
Marsia - thank you so much for your kind response to my comment and for understanding that I was not criticizing your excellent writing,which I enjoy, or your wonderful sense of humor, which is a lot like my own. When you work, as I do, with animal issues and town councils and regularly rescue the results of people's indifference or outright cruelty, you get to know that all of it is predicated on lack of understanding/misinformation about that animal and our perception of a "problem," albeit one that we have largely caused ourselves, as in the case of the geese. BTW, I could tell you were an animal lover in your second paragraph - anyone whose heart needs to be slowed down after almost accidentally hitting a goose in a parking lot truly has a heart for other living things :)
Patty A April 26, 2011 at 06:24 PM
ASteinberg is a lot more charitable and generous towards the slop that passed for a column than I am. Sorry, but I don't consider anyone referring to the geese as "Public Enemy # 1" or any of the other number of inflamatory insults (whether in jest or not) to be any "friend" to animals. Ms. Mason has apparently never been mugged or molested by another human being to refer to peaceful geese as "public enemy 1" and for that she is quite fortunate. But, hardly to be admired or praised. Lies are lies. Prejudice is prejudice. And words can be weapons even when cloaked in so-called "humor." It doesn't matter who the victims are, whether black, white, man, woman, Christian, Jew, straight, gay, human or animal. Injustice is injustice. This column attempted to make "fun" or "humor" by degrading to the most extreme points possible a creature that is already maligned and targeted for destruction. I believe we normally call behavior like that, "bullying" (picking on those who cannot fight back) and it is nothing to be admired. I hope Ms. Mason develops some awareness of facts and some sensitivity towards those she insults (both animal and human) when calling innocent geese, "Public Enemy 1." What garbage!
Sharon April 26, 2011 at 09:47 PM
Give it up and go find another cause to rant about. Ms. Mason writes a wonderful article every week and generates a lot of thinking-------------but not so much ranting.
Sarah April 27, 2011 at 12:08 AM
I'd like to point out that it's kind of sad that the biggest controversy in town is over a column about the excessive population of local geese. I agree with all of you who support "a chance for the geese" and the "geese have feelings too" mindset, though I hardly think Ms. Mason was proposing that the solution to the goose problem is to kill them off. Maybe I'm mistaken, but it seems the main idea in the article is the humorous proposition of a Ride-the-Ducks-esque tour of good ol' Moorestown, which to me and hopefully others is quite funny. It was intended to make you laugh, rather than cause you go off on long angry goosey rants.
Patty A April 27, 2011 at 01:18 AM
Julie: I am not here to wax poetry about geese or laugh at their expense. It seems you and I did not read the same column. I read: The geese are "scavengers that serve no useful purpose." (This, by the way is a lie as the geese are herbivores, NOT scavengers. But, even if scavengers, those animals serve a purpose as every creature on earth does.) I read: The geese are "waddling excrement factories." (This is also a lie as an adult goose "poops" from 5 to 8 ounces a day of solid waste. No more or no less than other birds their size.) I read: How are other towns "getting rid of these pesky waddlers?" Well, here in NYC, more than 2,600 Canada geese and their goslings were rounded up from city parks last year, trucked to Kennedy airport and gassed. Entire families stuffed into gas chambers. What kind of poetic image does that drudge up? Ms. Mason seems to approve of goose gassings and actually alludes to them. Do you find that "funny?" I don't. I read: The geese are "public enemny #1." Ms. Mason apparently is not aware of terrorists blowing up buildings or murderers or rapists. Granted that after reading this slop, I did not read the entire piece and even now find it a exercise in banality to trudge through. -- like wading through wet cement with ballet slippers. Say what you will about me. I don't care. But, I will "rant" like hell to defend those who cannot defend themselves against mindless venom disguised as "humor."
Patty A April 27, 2011 at 01:10 PM
Ms. Mason asks, "What are other towns doing to get rid of those pesky waddlers?" Here is one thing: Running the geese over with cars. http://indianhill-montgomery.fox19.com/news/crime/police-investigate-deliberate-killing-goose-parking-lot/68533 Then again, what could possibly be wrong running over our country's "Public Enemy No 1" or "waddling excrement factories?" Surely, the driver of the vehicle, though s/he was doing the country and Ms. Mason a favor. Perhaps we should pin a rose on him/her?
Sarah April 27, 2011 at 11:06 PM
Patty dear, I worry for you. You say "It seems you and I did not read the same column," then go on to reveal that you didn't even bother to read "the entire piece." How could you leave comment after redundant obnoxious comment on something you didn't even read? I can certainly understand how the phrases "scavengers that serve no useful purpose" and "waddling excrement factories" could leave a poor first impression. Furthermore, you let slip that you're located in New York City. Have you BEEN to Strawbridge Lake lately? Trudging through the goose poop IS a bit like "wading through wet cement with ballet slippers." I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in my last comment, but I'll reiterate loud and clear: MS. MASON IS NOT PROPOSING THAT THE GEESE BE KILLED. She even calls herself an animal lover, a far cry from a Goose Hitler. And no, I don't find goose gassings funny either. As a side note: maybe you should join PETA. You seem to know an awful lot more about geese than we here in Moorestown do. That way you can help try to prevent things such as goose gassings rather than just commenting on this column. We are all aware of terrorists and murderers and rapists. We are all aware of geese and your feelings towards them vs. Ms. Mason's. I believe it might do you some good to take your voice somewhere where it can be heard, because you're not going to make changes by continuing to leave comments on this column.
Patty A April 28, 2011 at 04:22 AM
Julie, are you Marsia's twin? You seem to know more about her intent than she does. I had no plans of returning to this page as you are correct that we have enough to do in NYC confronting the "goosicide" mentality of our "Doombird" Mayor and the DEC. But, some of us also check and google goose "news" from other areas and that is how this column came up. Perhaps when writing this tirade against the geese, Ms. Mason figured that no one gives a damn about the animals and she could spew out whatever "poop" without challenge. But, that is not the case these days with the power of the Internet. It might surprise you and your twin that there are actually a lot of people who CARE about the geese and detest how they are being demonized these days. If you and Marsia want to continue to dish out poop about the geese, expect to get a good deal of poop back. On the other hand, if you would like to get away from all this negativity, you might appreciate this "up" piece from the Wall Street Journal about a mama goose sitting on a nest in a cemetery who was protected by a deer. Mama's eggs hatched yesterday: http://online.wsj.com/article/AP695d5b2c48b9468886bc07a570403f49.html A truly ROYAL BIRTH -- which I am sure you and Ms. Mason will celebrate. ;)
jane beechman segal April 28, 2011 at 01:54 PM
As a fan of Ms. Mason's columns, I find it incredulous that the satirical nature of this particular article is at issue. Read, enjoy and form your own opinions but the intensity of the responses seemss disproportionate to the intended message of commentary....write on, Marsia
Patty A April 28, 2011 at 02:35 PM
Jane, for those like yourself who enjoy Ms. Mason's columns, go ahead. Just hope that she never picks as some object of "satire" something you care about. Your reaction might be different. You know, just prior to St. Patricks Day, Mayor Doombird (i.e Bloomberg) put his foot in his mouth and made some lame joke connecting Irish people to large quantities of alcohol intake. I am Irish, but did not take personal offense at the joke. I just thought it inane. But, some Irish organization DID take offense, because the joke fed into stereotypes about the Irish as "drunks." (I don't drink, by the way.) Well, hoof and mouth disease Doombird had to take the joke back and apologize for it. Here is the point of all this: Mason's column attempted to "be funny" at the expense of those who cannot defend themselves. It also fed into typical "stereotypes" about the maligned geese that are highly inflated and exaggerated (just as implying that all Irish are drunks or all Italians are tempermental). I did not complain about Doombird's lame joke about the Irish. I figure my people can fight for themselves. But, I greatly oppose Doombird because of his cruel, callous, insane and relentless campaign against Canada geese. He is a disaster for animals, in general. So, enjoy Mason's columns -- until she picks on something you love. You might not then find it so "funny."
Sarah April 28, 2011 at 07:15 PM
If I'm Ms. Mason's twin, then you were a goose yourself in a previous life. Or maybe even in your current life. And, did I not just mention in my last comment that I do, in fact, care about the geese? I do care whether or not they are recklessly killed, but I don't have to go off on long rants about the cruel propositions of the author (which, by the way, are not cruel propositions in the least. It doesn't require a psychic to determine that.). Believe me, we all get your point. We really do. You're allowed to stop now.
Patty A April 29, 2011 at 02:45 PM
Julie: I must indeed be a "silly goose" for still talking with you, but just to try once more: You claim to "care" about geese and to care whether or not they are reckelessly killed. If that is the case, then why would you so adamantly defend a colomn that refers to geese as scavengers that have no purpose in life and as "waddling excerement factories?" Do you in fact support the contention that the geese are "Public Enemy No 1."? That seems very strange coming from someone who otherwise portends to "care" about geese or even like animals. It reminds one of those people who say, "Some of my best friends are (fill in the blank)." But then they go on long rants vilifying the very people they refer to as "friends." Claims of "caring about" ring very hollow when one's otherwise actions are to demonize the beings in question or support the debasement of those one supposedly "cares about." Personally, I would have more respect (in terms of honesty) for someone saying they hate geese and want them all dead than I do someone saying they "care" about geese but want them dead (or vanished) anyway because they don't like getting "poop on their shoes." Words should match actions and the kinds of things one supports. Otherwise, they come off hollow and dishonest.
Hank April 30, 2011 at 03:49 PM
Pattty - don't you think all this effort would be better served working with some wildlife preservation group rather than just arguing on the internet? I agree with you that geese are fascinating, valuable creatures, but I also think that you have taken a humorous column too far. First of all you seem to have clearly misread some major points of the article. You say, "Ms. Mason seems to approve of goose gassings and actually alludes to them." But Ms. Mason clearly states: "The "live-and-let-live" faction does not want to see any involvement from the Wildlife Service, whose method of downsizing is to addle the goose eggs and gas some of the nesting geese. " Another crucial mistake is you equating Ms. Mason's opinions on geese to human racism and discrimination. Comparing her to Mayor Bloomberg, regardless of how you feel about him, is simply an irrational equation. Nowhere in Ms. Mason's article did she discriminate against "minorities" as you said. Furthermore, it is simply irrational to compare a dislike of animals to racism (as you did with the Bloomberg comparison). Many children that get bit by dogs in their childhood develop a phobia of dogs. Now, I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with dogs, but I couldn't blame a child for being scared of them. Does this make the child a scathing racist or a minority basher? No. If you still find nothing to agree with here, then I really recommend finding a more valuable way to help the geese.
Patty A April 30, 2011 at 04:11 PM
Hank: You might want read what has actually been said here. I never accused Ms. Mason of being a "racist" or discriminating against minorities. I did accuse her of "bullying" behavior -- that of beating up on or making "fun" of a species that is already under attack all over and one that cannot defend itself. How does that relate to issues like racism or derision of oppressed minorities? They all have at their base, misunderstanding and/or fear of the target OR an attitude that "might makes right." (Its OK to beat up on those who cannot fight back and have no defenders.) In fact, your example of a child developing a fear of dogs after being bitten by a dog is a good example of this. We fear or even hate what we truly don't know or understand. Of course, why people would develop a phobia about geese, simply because of stepping in poop is very curious. It seems easy to avoid that by just avoiding areas where the geese swim or nibble on grass. The geese after all are not invading our homes with guns and masks. As for me "misreading" Mason's statement on goose gassing, I don't believe I did. She is in subtle way, condescending to the "live and let live" faction of us who yes, take offense when thousands of Canada geese AND their goslings are corralled, stuffed into crates and gassed. This, at a time they are flightless and unable to escape or defend themselves. My message is simple: Pick on someone your own size who can fight back.
Hank April 30, 2011 at 04:24 PM
My point is that by comparing Ms. Mason to Mayor Bloomberg, specifically to an instance where you claim he is being racist, you are implying that she is guilty of the same type of offense. Disagree with me? Then don't make an irrational comparison. Also you did accuse her of discriminating against minorities: "But, sadly, I don't appreciate that which attempts to be funny at the expense of wildlife, children or oppressed minorities." Stop denying your own words. This is my last comment - I have other things to worry about. I suggest that if you are TRULY worried about the plight of the geese you do the same. There are a lot of wildlife preservation opportunities to get involved in. If you need help finding one feel free to email me and I will try to find a good cause that you can contribute your time to. Otherwise, I'm afraid that you are the odd man out on this website and the more you post and argue the more you will be contradicted. You would be doing both the readers of this website and the geese a great service if you found a more valuable cause for your time that actually helps the geese.
Patty A April 30, 2011 at 04:36 PM
Hank: Take a reading comprehension course. Seriously. I said the Mayor made a "lame" joke about the Irish which I personally did NOT find offensive, but others did. How that morphs into a statement about "racism" is beyond me. And yes, I "don't appreciate that which attempts to be funny at the expense of WILDLIFE, children OR oppressed minorities." This is not to say the offender is doing ALL THREE. Duh..... As for joining some wildife organization, I am already a member of several. However, its a lot more fun battling these issues out on the public stage. ;) Nothing will change for animals until public attitude, perception and behavior towards them changes. It all starts HERE -- on the public domain.
Harra Sment April 30, 2011 at 04:53 PM
BEHOLD MOORESTOWN, THE SUPREME PROTECTOR OF THE GEESE SPEAKS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF MORALITY AND COMMON DECENCY YOU WILL HEED HER WORDS AND SAVE THE GEESE. TOO LONG HAVE IGNORANT BORING HUMAN BEINGS STOMPED THE EARTH, LEAVING ONLY DEATH AND DESTRUCTION IN THEIR WAKE. LET US REPAIR OUR WAYS AND FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF THE ONE ONLY KNOWN AS 'PATTY A.' I PROPOSE THAT WE GIVE GEESE A SEAT IN THE PRESIDENTIAL CABINET. TOO LONG HAVE THESE ANIMALS BEEN OPPRESSED AND CAST DOWN. WE MUST GIVE THE GEESE A VOICE TO SPEAK OF THEIR LONG SUFFERING AND DEGRADATION. THESE POOR, DEFENSELESS ANIMALS MUST BE GIVEN JUSTICE! I ALSO PROPOSE THAT THAT WE ENACT A NEW SET OF GEESE APPRECIATION LAWS. WHENEVER A MOTORIST STOPS FOR A GROUP OF GEESE THEY WILL BE REQUIRED BY LAW TO BOW DOWN AND KISS THE EARTH THAT THE GEESE HAVE WALKED UPON. GEESE WILL BE GIVEN FIRST PRIORITY SEATING IN RESTAURANTS AND OTHER PUBLIC AREAS. GEESE WILL BE TREATED AS ROYALTY AND HUMANS MUST BE SUBSERVIENT TO THESE MAJESTIC BIRDS. LASTLY I PROPOSE THAT WE TAKE SOME ACTION TO SPREAD THE WORD OF THE PROPHET, 'PATTY A.' SHE ALONE HAS TAUGHT AS THE ERROR IN OUR WAYS. SHE ALONE HAS STOOD UP FOR THE DEFENSELESS GEESE. SHE ALONE IS THE LIGHT THAT WILL GUIDE US INTO THE FUTURE, A FUTURE WHERE GEESE ARE FINALLY GIVEN THE RESPECT THEY DESERVE! ALL HAIL 'PATTY A.'!
Patty A April 30, 2011 at 05:13 PM
Harra: Why, THANK you! (I am blushing). But, please no praises for your supreme, but humble servent (me). I much prefer the obscurity of background. But, indeed, by ALL means, RAISE THE GEESE! A PRESIDENTIAL CABINET POSITION! YES!!! GEESE APPRECIATION LAWS! -- YES, YES YES!!! AND A ROYAL WEDDING FOR OUR BELOVED MATED GOOSE PAIRS! YES, YES YES! Thanks, Hara! You have made this long, tiresome campaign worth it! GOD SAVE OUR PRECOUS GEESE AND LONG MAY THEY LIVE!
Sharon Pawlak May 01, 2011 at 01:35 PM
Respect - if not appreciation - for wildlife begins with education and Canada geese are no exception. So, I would like to take this opportunity to make an educational correction, here. Canada geese are not named after "John Canada". Birds are given Latin or Neo-Latin names so the species are recognized universally. The Latin names are then translated into common names, which reflect the language of each country. When translated into English, Branta canadensis becomes "Goose of Canada", hence Canada goose. For further information on Canada geese please visit www.canadageese.org and www.canadageesenewjersey.com - Sharon Pawlak, Nat'l coordinator for the Coalition to Prevent the Destruction of Canada Geese (fromer nineteen-year resident of Moorestown)
Patty A May 01, 2011 at 02:21 PM
Sharon: Presuming what you say is true, then why is it incorrect to call them, "Canadian geese" as we call the people of Canada, "Canadians?" The geese are not just birds of Canada. They are native to North America, including, USA. It is thus wrong to accuse the geese of being an "invasive species." They are American as apple pie and hoola hoops! With that in mind and following through on some of Harra's profound thoughts: A national, "WE LOVE OUR AMERICAN GEESIES!" holiday should be proclaimed. It would be celebrated by veggie picnics in the parks in which we share our goodies with our honking friends, including popcorn, chips and beer. We should all get a little "loosy goosy" and I believe the geesies would enjoy that. ;) (Not recommended to wear Minolo Blanoks to special picnic.) Because they are so much more proficient at air travel than we are (their wings don't come off when flying, nor do they collide with each other), Canada geese should be put in charge of air traffic control. Because they know and get along so well with other wildlife, a Canada goose should be appointed to head up the Dept of Interior. And because they are such devoted mates and exemplary parents, photos of geese should appear on all Valentines's, and Mother's and Father's Day greeting cards. Finally, because there is no question of "birth" of resident geese, one should be elected President. Who better knows peace, than the peaceful geese?
Rollie. A. Nosam May 01, 2011 at 10:24 PM
Dear Patty A: In an effort to find common ground and come together as a community, a nation, and as Canadian Goose lovers, I would like to personally invite you to the 24th "International Child Labor and Canadian Goose Cook-Off Festival" (ICLCGCOF) here in Moorestown, NJ (town motto: "Nice town, Friendly people, Great Goose Burgers!"). It's a wonderful weekend of love, hard work and great food. Starting with the local custom of char-broiling Canadian Goose you will find these birds are tasty treats especially when doused with helpings of taco sauce! Canadian Goose Tartare is a South Jersey specialty as well, and we would love to have you sample some along with Canadian Goose Foot, a somewhat gamier but delightfully chewy snack that some liken to a Slim Jim or birdie taffy. We are proud to bring children to town from around the globe. We teach them to cook Canadian Goose (you know the saying: "Give a man a Canadian Goose, he'll eat for an hour; teach a man to char-broil Canadian Goose and he'll start a riot!"), and we quadruple whatever income they're making back home, giving them state-of-the-art equipment to make: Canadian Goose Feather throws, shoes and hats! It's a sight to see as the good people of Moorestown sport the handiwork of a truly international conglomerate of well-paid and well-fed future Canadian Goose connoisseurs, walking about eating Canadian Goose Burgers and Feet. Best wishes! And as we like to say here in Moorestown, Wanna get loose? Eat a goose!
Patty A May 01, 2011 at 10:35 PM
@ Rollie: "Wanna get loose. Eat a goose," eh? I didn't know that eating goose gives people diarrhea. Hope you have Port-A-Johns nearby. Things could get messy and real stinky at the cook-off festival. Thanks for the invite, but I'll take a pass on it. Human adult diapers ain't my thing -- but I'll be happy to send some to Moorestown. Sounds like you guys will need the diapers, big time.
John Thomas May 06, 2011 at 09:57 PM
Holy-Cow...First there's Patty A...then Marion Ambler and now A Steinberger. How many more of there are you who copy and paste your unsubstantiated statistics, facts that some house-wife in NYC who hasn't seen grass in 20 years made up and (as I've confirmed with REAL people) references to "experts" that don't exist. You can imagine my surprise when I see that you live in NY CITY....Don't tell the people who actually live in areas that has grass, trees, water (that is not sewer water) and animals (that aren't in a zoo) about the problems we face. Tell you what...when we need to know about the problems with rats, cockroaches and living in your own feces we'll let you know...otherwise keep your ignorant views to yourselves.
Marion Ambler May 07, 2011 at 12:11 AM
John Thomas, what do you call 'unsubstantiated' statistics? The quotes I gave were what some of the most respected sources including the Center for Disease Control had to say about Canada geese and the health threat, or more accurately, lack of health threat posed by Canada geese. FYI - I live in Vancouver, BC we have lots of water including some of the best drinking water in North America and great beaches, a great airport, mountains, lots of grass, parks, and green spaces, .....and Canada geese. I also grew up in a farming community in the prairies. I am not sure exactly what you found so ignorant about my comments or what sense your own made.
Patty A May 07, 2011 at 03:00 AM
@ John Thomas: Well, now I really believe there is something in the water at Mooretown -- and its not goose poop. "Rats, cockroaches and living in your own feces?" You really should not project your own lifestyle upon others. Perhaps I really should have sent you guys the adult diapers.

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