Massage Parlor Hooker Bust, 'Da Gingerbread Man' Top Weird Crime News

Each week, Patch combs through the more shocking, surprising and often absurd alleged criminal acts and police-related incidents that unfold around the region. Here’s what went on this week for “OMG PD.”

A not-so-happy ending: Prostitution charges against massage parlors aren’t anything new—everyone remembers Zheng Salon, right?—but Gloucester Township Police said Rainbow Acupressure wasn’t even hiding it. After getting a tip about naked men and women wandering around inside the storefront, police raided the business and leveled prostitution charges against its owner and an employee.

Needles were a warning, not a weapon: Cinnaminson Police said James C. Johnson Jr., 54, not only stole four bottles of Johnnie Walker Red from ShopRite in January, he also threatened officers with a hypodermic needle. But at a bail reduction hearing, , and was only trying to warn police about a syringe in his pocket—not threaten them.

This isn’t the 1950s, it turns out: No matter how safe your neighborhood, it’s just not a great idea to leave your keys in your unlocked car, even if they are tucked under the seat. A Haddonfield resident found that out the hard way, police said, after his 2012 BMW 750 Li—a car, we should point out, that retails for around $88,000, give or take a couple grand—was stolen from his driveway under those very circumstances.

Reefer madness: While we applaud alleged criminals who turn themselves in to face the music, a little discretion is a wise move when heading to the county jail. For instance, allegedly bringing 20 bags of marijuana with you might seem like a good idea to help pass the time on that six-month stint, but sheriff’s officers at the Essex County Jail in Newark will tell you otherwise, as they did with Charles Wooten, who now faces additional drug charges.

Dubbing himself the Jackalope might’ve worked better: A Hatfield, PA, man with a solid knowledge of nursery rhymes taunted police on a Landsdale Patch Facebook post after authorities called for the public’s help in trying to find him, writing “run run as fast as u can u cant catch me im da ginger bread man.” Of course, you can figure out how this one turned out: Mark William Gross Jr. was caught less than a week later, and is accused of dealing cocaine and Xanax.