Forever "20"

Doctor: Mr. Kern, congratulations. You are the father of a beautiful baby girl.

New Father: Doc, are you sure?

Doctor: Yes, I’m pretty sure that is the case.

New Father: But how is "she" going to learn about the Broad Street Bullies, Tug McGraw and Bruce Springsteen?

Doctor: I have no doubt you’ll both do fine ...

As I recall, it was bitter cold weekend, just a few days after the Mummers strutted down Broad Street welcoming in the New Year. That entire weekend, your mom and I were in the high-risk Obstetrics and Gynecology wing of Jefferson Hospital due to some prenatal concerns the doctor had about your mom’s pregnancy. Needless to say, it was a stressful and nervous time for all three of us.

Thankfully, everything worked out and on Jan. 5, 1992, you entered the world and our lives. You were long as a pillow is wide. I called you “Peanut.”

We’re separated by four days and thirty years, both born in the first and coldest month of the year. Now today, somehow 20 years has flashed before our eyes.

Initially, I was the Drop-off Dad. I can remember getting you ready for Excel preschool, making sure I picked out the exact plastic hair bands and leotards you had requested each morning to match your ever-present skirts. Do you remember that phase you went through when you would wear nothing but skirts year-round?

It was during this time we often fumbled with our new roles, expectations and needs during those initial parent and child encounters. We were both trying to carve out space and boundaries. However, as a result of those disagreements and disappointments, in the process we both learned a lot about ourselves and each other. 

The years continued to fly by ...

And just when it seemed like we made it through that phase, boys suddenly entered the picture! First, it was just pre-teen infatuation with movie stars like Jacob Smith, but soon that developed into real-life crushes with schoolmates. Once again, we found ourselves in foreign territory and often at odds with each other. 

You were destined to take these next steps and I had to let go.

I remember freshman year you invited me to a Nickelback concert, while I returned the favor, getting us tickets to see Bruce Springsteen one last time at the Spectrum during your junior year at . You borrowed my Tom Petty and Bob Marley CDs and then made me mixtapes of your favorite artists—Jack Johnson and Snow Patrol. Music has always been a huge part of our relationship. Thankfully, that continues even to this day.

Your creative interests didn’t stop with music. You eagerly took to photography at a young age. Looking back now, our family room’s walls and bookshelves are filled with images we witnessed together when our cameras were present. Again, thankfully we continue to share this creative hobby together.

We witnessed some memorable Flyers and Phillies games together. In our backyard, when you were 10 years old, I taught you “catch,” just like my father did with me at roughly the same age. When you were first born, I was never sure I would be able to share these sports experiences with you. Now, 20 years later, I’m so fortunate to have been able to have shared these moments with you. We still need to witness a Stanley Cup parade down Broad Street. Someday, hopefully, we will.

We surfed in Maui and skied in Vail. But we also walked the Wildwood boardwalk, watched movies and ate Chinese food, played tennis and rode bikes together. We hiked wooded trails, swam in the bluest of oceans and witnessed many beautiful sunrises and amazing sunsets together along the way. 

We remain “The Explorers.” 

Recently, we shared a long car ride together discussing your college experiences, new sorority friends, Brian and our planned trip to California. We talked about tattoos, as well as the many sights and sounds we would like to experience together along with mom on our first visit to the other side of the country. You told me about your aspirations and I told you about some of the things I would like to do before I leave this world.  

Over the next 20 years, I hope our individual dreams, whatever they may be, can come true.

My birthday wish for you as you enter the last year before you become the legal age is simple. May the spirit you feel today remain with you for the remaining years of your life’s unique journey. Stay young at heart! Be a person of this world, not just a passenger on the bus. Follow your dreams. I have no doubt you will make a difference in this world.

While your next chapters remain unwritten, I have a feeling we are both in store for something special.

Most of all enjoy this decade known as your 20s! 

Love,

Dad