Healing Heavy Hearts

Terry Bussard spent six months searching for bereavement counseling after his partner of 14 years died on Christmas Day in 2010. Diagnosed with cancer earlier that summer, Bussard’s partner underwent chemotheraphy for six months, as Bussard, a nurse, helped care for him.

In addition to the grief that goes with the loss of a loved one, gays and lesbians often have to cope with those who don’t understand their relationships, says Kim Plasket, director of public communications at .

Ironically, Christopher Frazer, 46, Bussard’s partner, was also a nurse and was employed as a hospice nurse at Moorestown VNA when he was diagnosed.

“It was an unusual conjuncture of situations,” says Bussard, a 55-year-old Haddon Township resident. “He wasn’t just a patient; he was loved by the nurses who took care of him.”

Bussard read books on grieving, which didn’t relieve the sorrow he felt, and he hunted unsuccessfully for a bereavement group close to the hospital in Philadelphia where he works.

“Philadelphia has a large gay population,” says Bussard. “I was surprised to find that there were no grief therapy groups for gays and lesbians.”

“This is a specific network that was new for us,” says Plasket. “We saw this sector of society as a group who really needed nonjudgmental and empathetic counseling.”

Although he is still coping with his loss, sharing similar stories among other gays and lesbians has been healing, says Bussard.

Besides grief counseling for gays and lesbians, Moorestown VNA provides bereavement services for children who have lost a loved one. Children often grieve differently from adults, and special care and concern is needed to assist them, says Plasket.

On Sept. 17 and 18, Moorestown VNA will sponsor for the sixth year, Camp Firefly, a bereavement program for children ages 7 through 14, at Camp Matollionequay in Medford. The program helps kids deal with grief after losing a parent, sibling or another close relationship. The camp had been originally slated for Aug. 26-28, but had to be rescheduled due to Hurricane Irene.

“Kids are the forgotten ones during loss,” says Plasket. “And kids have life experiences ahead of them like birthdays or holidays, that are difficult times to cope through.”

Plasket says children are apt to revisit grief without verbalizing their feelings and have tendencies to shut down.

Nearly 50 kids will share stories and discuss their thoughts while enjoying activities designed to ease grief like canoeing, cookouts and art projects. Children are eligible regardless of their families’ income, and the camp is fully supported through charitable contributions to Moorestown VNA.

The Moorestown VNA has a long and honorable history in town. In 1904, Moorestown resident Mary R. Sumner put forth the idea of a visiting nurse organization in bucolic Moorestown. The agency was established as an offshoot of the Women’s Club of Moorestown. The first registered nurses made home visits year-round delivering babies, administering oral polio vaccines and working with crippled children.

“These early nurses held some of the first tests for breast cancer,” says Plasket of these pioneering women.

In 1966, the agency spread into Cinnaminson, Palmyra and Riverton and, in the l980s, became a county-wide association. Today, compassionate nurses look after residents in Camden and Gloucester counties, too.

Last year, Moorestown VNA made over 200,000 home visits, tending to 8,400 people.

In the last decade, the association has expanded its services, deepening its care-level mission. Today, with a staff of more than 450 and 200 volunteers, Moorestown VNA offers five specialized areas of service: community wellness, education, homecare services, hospice and private duty services. 

Children, teens and adults can receive counseling services for anxiety, stress management, depression and crisis intervention at the VNA center located at 300 Harper Drive. Services are administered based on the patient’s ability to pay.

Beginning in September, once again, flu shots will be given at the agency’s office.

Each year the agency holds two major fundraising events. On Oct. 4, the 16th Annual Benefit Golf Tournament will be held at the Riverton Country Club. A wine tasting benefit is being planned for next spring.

The experience has taught Bussard an important lesson. He reflects, "Say and do what you must now, because nobody is promised another tomorrow.”

For more information on services, the fundraising events, to donate, or to be a volunteer, visit