Sunday, April 7, 2013
Why is our columnist so cranky? Blame dishonest groundhogs, school cheating scandals and Memorial Field canoodlers (among many other things).
As I write this, I’m a bit cranky. Everyone agrees it’s been a very long, very dreary winter with lots of rain, endless gray skies and no big snow events. Those who believe a rotund furball named Punxsutawney Phil can predict an early spring were ecstatic when the li'l guy didn’t see his shadow, thus encouraging us to think sunny, spring thoughts. Alas, Phil is like many meteorologists in that his forecasts are wrong 99 percent of the time, yet he still has a job. This is not spring, people! This is a continuation of winter that probably won’t end until the day before Memorial Day when the weather will abruptly morph from quasi-winter to sultry summer. So, let’s start with the weather. I’m still stuck on Sandy. I realize most of the world …
Monday, January 28, 2013
With cursive becoming nearly extinct, what's next, asks our columnist—and what else do we lose with the convenience of modern technology?
Last week at the library, I watched as a little boy labored over a cursive writing worksheet. His eyebrows were pinched together in concentration while his tongue furiously worked his upper lip like a windshield wiper. Fingers gripping a stubby pencil, he toiled over the loopy letters. He was working so hard and, being a sucker for a hardworking little man, I commended him on his fine work. He smiled shyly, then went right back to his task. Later, when the young writer needed help finding a book, I asked him what grade he was in. I hadn’t thought of cursive writing in so long I marveled it was still being taught. It turns out the boy was homeschooled and was, according to his calculations, "somewhere between third and fourth grade." …
Monday, January 21, 2013
Let's bring some revenue to town by filming a reality TV show! The possibilities are endless.
I am not a big fan of reality television, although I will admit to having a bizarre fascination with Honey Boo Boo and her clan. Not because I enjoy Toddlers & Tiaras (yet another reality show), but because I love her nickname. If I have one regret, it’s that I was never asked to join the Mafia, because those guys have the greatest nicknames: Cheesebox, Benny Eggs, Bobby HaHa and Momo, to name a few. Our family watched the first few seasons of American Idol, before our interest waned and we moved on to other mind-numbing pastimes—like trying to figure out Lost. Needless to say, we’re the ones who lost five years worth of Wednesday nights. We never could figure out the smoke monster, the hatch, the Others, the mothers or why that Brazilian …
Monday, June 11, 2012
Moorestown parents, get ready: Summer's right around the corner, and you better have something to keep the kids occupied.
In Southern California, there is a peculiar weather pattern the natives refer to as “June Gloom.” Each June day typically starts out gray and unpromising, chilly. When I resided there, I would wonder how to occupy two toddlers in the house all day. LEGO towers were built by one son then knocked down by the other, followed by the trail of tears. Blanket forts were erected then dismantled. Whining was a constant, as was, when all else failed, the television and one huge moronic purple dinosaur. Miraculously, the sun would break through the gloom at around 4 o’clock and the world was suddenly a eucalyptus-scented paradise. Off we’d trundle to the mountainside nearby: me, one son in the stroller, the other marching along with a stick, a Lab …
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Monday, April 30, 2012
Our cell phones are our lifelines—and that's not really a good thing.
“Lunatic” is not a word of these times. You rarely hear it used in the year 2012, but I remember it as being a favorite of my mother, who employed it as others employ profanities. She would hurl a “lunatic!” when cut off in traffic, or when we’d pass a grimy panhandler ranting outside of Wanamaker’s on one of our shopping trips to Philly. “Poor lunatic,” she’d say sadly, tossing him a coin if she deemed him harmless. If there were a hint of a threat, her “lunatic” would be brusque and hissed under her breath as she hustled me away. I grew up with varying shades of “lunatic,” using it myself when it seemed appropriate to explain someone’s outwardly inexplicable behavior. Now, I can’t use that word to explain why someone might be walking …
Monday, April 9, 2012
Why are change and compromise so difficult?
Friday really was a “good Friday.” The sun was so brilliant, the air so spring-like, I decided to scrap the house cleaning and take a little trip to the SHEW-ur. This was not to be a quick “jump-in-the-car-and-race-through-the-Pinelands”-type deal because, with no one else to watch them, the aged canines had to accompany me. When you have two old dogs, it’s never a casual trip. It’s sort of like taking doddering Uncle Bean and fussy Aunt Lulu on an outing. You start off by prompting them over and over again to, well, use the facilities. Uncle Bean’s hearing is totally gone, so as he shuffles outside, you have to stomp on the ground with both feet while yelling at him to “hurry up.” Aunt Lulu is insecure, so every trip outside, according to…
jweiss
3:26 pm on Thursday, April 11, 2013
Re: guns. I propose an alternative to a gun for protection/self-defense. Use a tranquilizer gun instead. The perpetrator will be left temporarily unconscious [until help arrives] and nobody dies. This seems reasonable to me; what do you gun owners say? Would you be willing to give up your guns for this sane alternative? more ›